True Improv

I was just sifting through some comments on Torontoist, when I came across this:
Is it really improv if it happens like clockwork once every month or two?
Taking every situation to an extreme for the sake of argument is pointless, as real life happens exclusively away from the extremes. Because of this, I considered taking this "improv must be spontaneous" argument to its own ridiculous extreme.

In a vacuum, little bits of matter — subatomic particles mostly — are constantly popping in and out of existence. Occasionally, enough subatomic particles pop up in the same location at the same time to create a stable atom. Even more occasionally, enough atoms forms closely enough together to form an object.

Hypothetically, if the universe lasts long enough, jillions of years into the future, a comedian will suddenly appear. This comedian will most likely appear in a cold part of deep space, far in between dead galactic superclusters, billions of light-years from the nearest remnant of a star.

This utterly spontaneous event will provide the first ever possibility of truly spontaneous improv. We can only hope that this future comedian will be prepared for the event, and spends her last 30 seconds or so before suffocating acting out some preposterous situation in the midst of the bleak and eternal darkness. Now that would be funny!

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